Know Your Own Venus

This Valentine’s Day made me think of my good friend John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

John Gray gave the women at my 2019 Summit long-stem red roses – to increase the testosterone of the men in the room.

Now I know that sounds strange. But hear me out…

John was a featured speaker at my 2019 Confidential Cures Summit. He’s always a huge hit with the crowd. Before his talk, he brought two dozen long-stemmed red roses up on stage with him. Then he gave them away to the women in the audience.

He told us he did it to increase the testosterone levels of the men in the room.


According to John’s extensive research, the best way boost male testosterone levels is to stimulate estrogen in women. And when a woman receives a rose, her levels rise.

And this helps increase a man’s testosterone. This relates to what most men really want.

You see, to have high levels of testosterone, men want to be needed. Since the days of our primal ancestors, a man’s job was to protect women…

It was stressful and challenging – but it built up their T levels.

But today’s women can take care of themselves. Now they’re the ones from Mars. And as life got less stressful for men, testosterone went way down. Low testosterone leads to a low libido and depression.

As John explained with his red rose example, it’s a man’s job to biologically stimulate women to increase estrogen. When a woman doesn’t have enough estrogen, she can’t feel love or happiness or enjoy sex. And that makes his testosterone decrease even more.

Like so much in nature, it’s a beautiful and reciprocal cycle.

But now comes the modern predicament.

Testosterone levels have dramatically declined in men today… Making their estrogen levels almost 50 times higher than a woman’s!

Men try to fix their low testosterone problem by going to a clinic for a T-shot. But you can’t take testosterone. You have to MAKE it.

At the Summit, John revealed that one of the easiest — and most misunderstood — ways to replenish testosterone is with what he calls “cave time.”

When women hear men talking about retreating into their “man cave,” they sometimes think their partners are lazy or shutting them out. But withdrawing into your own space is a biological need. That’s because your testosterone levels fall steadily during the day — and after all that stress, your body needs time and space to relax and restore itself.

John is right when he points out that it’s often hard for a woman to imagine her partner’s desire to be alone, because a man’s need to rebuild testosterone levels is much greater than hers.

And getting your testosterone levels back up has the almost immediate and natural effect of improving your mood.

John also says that when a woman lets her man know that she appreciates and accepts what he does, or forgives him for what he neglects to do, her support boosts his testosterone.

Here’s what I tell my guy patients who are looking to increase their levels this Valentine’s Day…

  1. Take her out for a nice steak dinner. Red meat raises your testosterone levels naturally thanks to high levels of zinc. One study found that 30 mg of zinc a day increased testosterone. Being told to stop eating red meat put men on a path to low levels.
  2. Take Tongkat Ali. This herb has been used for hundreds of years throughout Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia. Clinical studies support what Malaysians have known all along: Tongkat Ali boosts your libido and naturally stimulates the production of testosterone. One group of researchers gave a Tongkat Ali supplement to 13 older men for five weeks. They all had significant increases in total testosterone. To maintain free testosterone levels, I suggest 25 mg a day.
  3. Follow John’s advice. Give your partner a dozen red roses. Then watch her estrogen rise!

To Your Good Health,

Al Sears, MD, CNS