Venus and Mars Hormones


Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus.

This one book from best-selling author John Gray built a publishing empire.

Even if you’ve never read it, I’m sure you’ve heard of it.

Released in 1993, this book went on to sell more than 50 million copies and is considered the “highest ranked work of non-fiction of the 1990s.”

When I read the book years ago, I remember the clarity it brought to relationships, and how we can make them stronger and more meaningful.

Today, John Gray has added an anti-aging component to his books and lectures, and that’s why I’m writing to you today.

Just last week, John Gray was a featured speaker at my 2015 Palm Beach Anti-Aging Summit. John spoke about the stress-relieving power of testosterone, and how hormones affect our ability to cope, love, and thrive in a relationship.

If you’re a regular reader, you’ve heard me talk about the anti-aging benefits of testosterone many times before. But few people know it’s also an important stress-buster for men.

In today’s letter, I’m going to share with you what John told us about testosterone and stress. I’ll also show you how to keep your testosterone levels up naturally, and why it’s so important for combating stress and smoothing out relationships.

Sidestep These Testosterone Killers


John and I agree that the problem of stress — and the solution — starts with your hormones.

While most hormones decline as you get older, the stress hormone cortisol increases with age.

Cortisol is a steroid hormone that helps the body respond to stress.

But men and women cope with stress differently, because aside from cortisol, different hormones are at play.

Oxytocin is a hormone that acts on organs in the body.

Women need oxytocin — often called the “cuddle” hormone — to relieve stress. Oxytocin is stimulated by feelings of trust and support from her partner.

For men, the hormone is testosterone — which is stimulated by challenges, success, vying for a woman’s affections and also fulfilling his partner’s needs.


But when testosterone drops, men lose their sense of happiness, as well as their sense of power and well-being.

That’s because when your stress levels rise, your testosterone levels plummet. Some of those testosterone killers are:

  • Financial stress;
  • Health stress;
  • Work stress;
  • Relationship routine and relationship stress;
  • Failure to make your partner happy;
  • Excess weight;
  • Estrogenic foods, like meat raised on growth hormones, flax seeds, soyi and beer;
  • Plastics, which contain estrogen-mimickers like bisphenol-A (BPAs) and phthalates.

Boosting Big-T and Reducing Stress

At my Summit, John revealed that one of the easiest — and most misunderstood — ways to replenish testosterone is “cave time.”

Women sometimes think their partners are lazy, but withdrawing into your own “cave-space” is a biological need. That’s because your testosterone levels fall steadily during the day — and after all that stress, your body needs time and space to relax and restore itself.

John says it’s often hard for a woman to imagine her partner’s desire to be alone, because a man’s need to rebuild testosterone levels is much greater than hers.

And getting your testosterone levels back up has the almost immediate effect of decreasing your stress levels.

John also says that when a woman lets her man know that she appreciates and accepts what he does, or forgives him for what he neglects to do, her support boosts his testosterone.

Confidence increases testosterone levels, too — and doing things that stimulate testosterone increases a man’s confidence. It works both ways.
There are also a number of safe, natural testosterone-boosting supplements and dietary changes I advise.

Here are three of my favorites…

  1. Get More Zinc. Zinc plays a key role in testosterone production. A lot of zinc is concentrated in your pituitary gland, which plays a big role in your libido. My favorite way to get zinc is by eating animal meats like pork, beef and lamb. Pumpkin seeds, oysters and watermelon contain a lot of zinc. Supplementing is also an option. I recommend you get 30 mg of zinc per day.
  2. testosterone-boosting-foods

  3. Eat Organic Red Meat. Red meat contains saturated fat, which has a known correlation with higher testosterone. It also contains zinc, which helps you produce testosterone. Certified organic red meat is also free of estrogen-based growth hormones.
  4. Fenugreek. This Mediterranean herb has been used to treat manly dysfunction by healers for centuries. Recent scientific studies confirm that fenugreek helps the body increase testosterone levels.ii You can buy fenugreek from Indian specialty grocers. Or you can take supplements, which come as seeds, powders or capsules. I recommend 500 mg a day.

To Your Good Health,


Al Sears, MD, CNS

i Siepmann T, Roofeh J, Kiefer FW, Edelson DG. Hypogonadism and erectile dysfunction associated with soy product consumption. Nutrition. 2011 Jul-Aug;27(7-8):859-62. doi: 10.1016/j.nut.2010.10.018. Epub 2011 Feb 25.
ii Steels, E. et al. “Physiological Aspects of Male Libido Enhanced by Standardized Trigonella foenum-graecum Extract and Mineral Formulation. Phototherapy Research. Vol 25, issue 9 pages 1294-1300, Sep 2011.